(no subject)

[di_carlisle]

*packing up the car for the trip to the B&B in Big Sur*

*singing happily to himself*

I love a sausage, a bonny, bonny sausage,
But ye canna get near it for the smell,
If you fry it with an ingin, you'll hear the ingin singin':
Mary, my Scots bluebell.

*hoists a suitcase and plonks it into the boot*

Comments

[dc-blythe.livejournal.com]

*appears in the doorway, smiling gently at your singing*

I love a man of many talents. Tom Jones better watch his back.

[di_carlisle]

*blushes*
That was one I grew up with.

And don't you take the piss. I've seen you dance.

*kisses you*
Want to hear another one? "Today is Hogmanay, tomorrow's Hogma-nany..."

[dc-blythe.livejournal.com]

*smirks*

Who's taking the piss? I love a good lusty Scots tune, me.

*cheekily grabs a handful of your arse*

But not as much as I love a good lusty Scot.

*kisses you back*

All packed then, are we?

[di_carlisle]

Ayup. Ready?

*holds open your door*

[dc-blythe.livejournal.com]

*fidgets, suddenly uncomfortable*

...Not quite.

*tries to find a place to start, scratching back of neck and shifting weight from foot to foot*

I told you I'd...I think I know what might...what I need. From you. To stop these stupid bloody nightmares.

[di_carlisle]

*takes you by the shoulders*

Right. How can I help?

[dc-blythe.livejournal.com]

*silently leads you back into the house and sits you down at one of the tables, taking a seat opposite you*

*has trouble meeting your eye...takes a while to begin, but then finally plows ahead, clearly uncomfortable, but speaking with a curious matter-of-fact tone*

When I first came back I was alright for a while. After that visit with Pfred's unicorn, it seemed like it wasn't going to bother me anymore. And I've thought a lot about why it's just coming back now.

*deep breath*

When I was back there, and I started going...when things started not making sense, the clown made me think I'd killed you. I told you that part. What I didn't tell you was that that later on when he got bored and came into the cage, he pretended to be you. When he was...*long pause* And I knew it wasn't you, a part of me always knew you'd never want that...but I wanted to believe it. Because even if you were alive and hated my guts, it meant that I hadn't killed you.

*manages to meet your gaze for a brief second, to make sure you're following me*

[di_carlisle]

*nods and waits for you to go on*

[dc-blythe.livejournal.com]

*looks away again and presses lips before going on*

When I saw you hurting Jimmy with that prod...that's when it all came back. It wasn't your fault; I should have told you earlier. But seeing you standing there with that thing in your hands, just like you...like what he made me see...

*can't quite find the words, and gives a frustrated sigh*

I know it when I'm awake. And when I'm in my right mind. It wasn't my fault. I didn't kill you, and I don't deserve...you don't want to punish me for it. But I wasn't in my right mind then, and when I'm asleep...

*rubs face tiredly*

It's like it left something in me. Like a poison. Made me not trust myself, and...*stares hard at the table, hurt and ashamed to admit it*...and made a part of me not trust you.

*glances up quickly before I go on to see if you're still with me, desperately hoping that hearing this unpleasant truth out loud hasn't cut you as deeply as I'm afraid it will*

[di_carlisle]

*stung*

*but nods*

Go on.

[dc-blythe.livejournal.com]

*sees the hurt in your eyes and hates myself for it, but soldiers on*

I've tried everything I can do on my own, Peter. I even thought about going to a...a hypnotist, to try and get at it. But so many of them are dodgy, and half the time it doesn't work...

*can't find the words, and finally gives up, reaching down for a bundle resting on one of the side chairs...and deposits it reluctantly on the table*

*it's a bundle of soft cotton rope and a thick, heavy nighttime blindfold*

*looks away from them as though they're obscene...turning bright red and not looking at you, struggling for words*

It's too deep. I can't get at it when I'm...if I can prove it to that part of me, the part I can't control, then maybe it'll finally take out that bit he poisoned. I just need to know what I know when I'm awake; and know it all the way down. I need to...I can't...

*falters as the words run out again and goes quiet, horribly exposed and open...face working against the emotions, desperately hoping you understand*

[di_carlisle]

*looks thoughtfully at the rope and blindfold, and then at you with deep sympathy*

*gets up*

Come here, sweetheart.

[dc-blythe.livejournal.com]

*does so, but still can't quite look you in the eye*

[di_carlisle]

I love you.

*lifts up your chin*
Look at me.
*waits until you do*

Kiss me.

[dc-blythe.livejournal.com]

*kisses you, trembling slightly*

*voice barely a whisper*

I love...you...

*squeezes eyes shut tight to keep the emotion in*

[di_carlisle]

*murmuring*

Trust me, sweetheart.

*slowly and gently blindfolds you*

Let go.

*holds you for a moment, and kisses you again*

[dc-blythe.livejournal.com]

*inhales as the blindfold goes on and the world goes dark*

*softly*

I do. Trust you.

*swallows*

*leans into your kiss, gradually relaxing in your arms and yielding to the gentle pressure of your mouth*

[di_carlisle]

That's my boy.

*grabs the rope*

*puts an arm around your waist and a hand on your shoulder*

We're going to walk now. Take a step when I do and keep your body next to mine. I won't steer you wrong.

[dc-blythe.livejournal.com]

*nods, still breathing a bit nervously*

*places a hand on your waist as we move forward*

*follows your lead...hesitantly at first, but gaining confidence as we go farther*

*suddenly lets out a nervous giggle*

If you didn't have your contacts in, would we be the blind leading the blond?

[di_carlisle]

*laughs*

Sh. That's enough joking, love.
*kisses your ear*

*opens the car door*

You're going to get in and sit down now. Follow my lead.

*takes your leg and lifts it into the car*

*pushes your head down and your waist to the side, slowly guiding you into the seat*

*puts your other leg in*

Now, sweetheart, I want you to lean forward. Chest on your thighs. Put your hands behind your back and grab your elbows.

Trust me.

[dc-blythe.livejournal.com]

*gets unexpected but thoroughly pleasant chills from your ear-kiss*

*moves carefully into the car, one hand on you and the other on the door for support*

*struck by how much quieter it is inside the car than out, even with the door open; something you don't normally notice...and feels odd getting into what would be the driver's seat if we were back home*

*lifts head up automatically towards the sound of your voice, unsure of your request...but does as instructed, leaning down slowly, hoping I don't hit my nose on the dash on the way down*

*is not as skinny or as limber as you, but does my best to follow instructions and manages to grasp my arms somewhere mid-way between wrist and elbow*

*turns head towards you expectantly*

[di_carlisle]

*takes a length of rope and winds it around the overlap between your arms, tying it snugly*

Back upright, sweetheart. Scoot forward just a bit on that seat so you can lean back.

*guides you back up, head against the headrest, your arms now pinned behind your back*

*fastens the seatbelt across your chest and lap*

*kisses you again, slowly*

All right, love?

[dc-blythe.livejournal.com]

*nods, hesitating only briefly*

Yeah. M'fine.

*is actually quite comfortable for now, arms resting in the small of my back, all belted in and feeling quite snug*

*but still slightly uneasy*

[di_carlisle]

Good.

*whispers*
Now, turn off your mind. Focus on sensation.

*kisses you again, longer and more insistent this time*

*straddles you without breaking the kiss, sitting in your lap, one leg still out the car door and one through the front seats to the floor of the back*

*pulls your head to his with one hand and runs another hand down between your legs, stroking you over your trousers*

*whispers* Mmm... looks like you're better than fine...

[dc-blythe.livejournal.com]

*wonders briefly if anyone in the house can see us...and then stops wondering abruptly as your lips touch mine*

*startled at the power of the sensations, unexpectedly amplified by the bonds and the darkness...blind and powerless to do anything but feel your lips on mine and kiss you back, breathing in your warmth and your taste and your closeness in the deliciously tight space as your weight presses firmly against me*

*inhales pleasantly at your stroking...and can't resist a tiny smirk*

Just mind you grab the right gear lever on the drive up.